Thursday, July 3, 2008

General Hospital: Pavlov's Fans


Forget Pavlov’s dog… it’s his fans I’m worried about. Say it with me slowly, one Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi… that is the precise length of time Maxie Jones and the new doctor, Matt Hunter, shared the General Hospital screen on Thursday (June 26).

Yes, those three long-awaited, over-hyped seconds on GH marked the re-teaming of former Days of Our Lives (DOOL) young lovers Shawn and Belle, Jason Cook (Matt Hunter, GH; ex-Shawn, DOOL) and Kirsten Storms (Maxie Jones, GH; Belle, DOOL).

The only problem? General Hospital has neither a Shawn nor a Belle character. Who cares about a minor detail like that when there is spontaneously combustible sexual chemistry exploding on our screens? But, alas, for three glorious seconds these two characters bumped into each other. There, I said it. Matt and Maxie (not Shawn and Belle) bumped into each other on General Hospital, not Days of Our Lives. Neither paying attention, they turned around quickly and accidentally bumped into each other in front of GH’s famous nurses’ station.

Be advised, Spin’s Vixenella can “squeeeeeeee” and “eeeeeeeeeee” and “OMG” with the best fan girls on the biggest Internet soap message boards, but yesterday’s response to those three seconds of shared screen time was simply astonishing on so many levels. In an attempt to counterbalance her inner fan girl and bring into sharp focus the three seconds, The Vixenella will spew forth some Latin: res ipsa loquitur. Yes, res ipsa loquitur, a legal term which means “the thing speaks for itself”. No further details or evidence are necessary; the response tells the whole story. So without further adieu, and with no identifying information revealed, Spin’s Vixenella gives you res ipsa loquitur, verbatim actual message board responses to three seconds of General Hospital.

“That song by Savage Garden “I Knew I Loved You Before I Met You” instantly played in my mind”

“I don't care if it was forced I just love looking at him and seeing him again its been so long since I saw him on DOOL”

“Reunited and it feeeels so gooooood! Woooohooo!”

“I didn't think that the scene looked forced at all, I LOVED it! The scene lived up to my expectations and then some, I have been waiting so long for this! I hope that the continuation of the scene will happen tomorrow.”

“Forced or Not, i friggin Loved it! My Heart Bursts with Joy! I can Bearly Breathe! Jason and Kirsten Together again EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”

“I'm so excited! I have been squeeling since I saw the scene of Maxie and Matt running into each other. Gave me a warm feeling and a nice flashback.”

“I watched today's scene 3 times already!”

“I think I've watched about a hundred times already.”

“Sparks! I saw definite sparks of chemistry! And that look... oh boy, they've definitely got me hooked!” “God, those were the best and most interesting 3 seconds of GH in a loooong time!”

“I loved M&M's interaction. The chemistry is there (yes, based on that clip alone, I judge them to be awesomely perfect for each other).”

In fairness, there was a lone voice of reason in the message board thread who commented, “I can't really say how I feel about the two yet, because well it was a very short scene, he didn't really say anything to her.” Do the rest of these GH fans fall in love while stopped at traffic lights or in grocery store check-out queues? They must be the speediest of speed daters.

Res ipsa loquitur, fellow soap fans. Can we expect intelligent, long-term storytelling and insightful character development when three seconds of stunt casting a “hot” soap hunk from a rival network sends us into paroxysms of joy? When the soap genre is extinct, we will have only ourselves to blame for not demanding more when we had the chance.

Lessons Learned: To minimize the risk of bumping into someone and having them spontaneously combust with sexual chemistry on me, The Vixenella vows to be more careful and less absent-minded in public places.

VIXENELLA'S VIDEO OF THE DAY: Enjoy Bonnie Rait's Something to Talk Aboutcompiled by Ashley from the Opposite Attraction Fan Site. Spinelli & Maxie...SPIXIE IS SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT...the new guy...meh!


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