Could Scabs Stop General Hospital’s Bleeding?

This article by Spin's Vixenella was first published in TV Guide Canada, Nelson's Ratings, April 6. 2009. http://tvguide.sympatico.msn.ca/The+Nelson+Ratings+Apr+6+2009/Soaps/Nelson_Ratings/Articles/090406_ratings_nelson_NB.htm?isfa=1

Click. That was the sound of disillusioned General Hospital (GH) fans “voting with their remote” and turning off their TVs in the middle of sweeps. Seldom have fans reacted so swiftly and with such determination, but fans of Spixie, Spinelli (Bradford Anderson) and Maxie (Kirsten Storms), were true to their word. On Friday (3/13), Spixie fans got a wonderful surprise as Maxie told Spinelli she loved him and would love him forever. From Friday to Monday (3/16), daily ratings inched up as fans tuned in for the continuation of the long-awaited “I Love You’s”; unfortunately along with those “three little words,” Spixie fans were treated to Maxie threatening to sleep with Johnny, (Brandon Barash). Once again, GH was giving Spixie fans a love story with one hand and snatching it away with the other; Tuesday’s (3/17) ratings declined from Monday’s highest rated show of the week.

By Tuesday (3/17), horrified Spixie fans watched Maxie in total self-destruct mode, kissing erstwhile gigolo mob prince Johnny Zacchara in the back of a limo. Whip-lashed from being jerked around for nearly a year, a volcano of Spixie fans erupted, flooding the GH Comment Lines with hundreds of calls vowing to turn off their televisions on Wednesday (3/18). One of the large Spixie fan websites documented over three hundred angry fan calls to the GH Comment Line. Spixie fans may have been as good as their word as ratings plunged noticeably further between Tuesday's sleazy limo scene with its 1.9 rating to Wednesday’s 1.8 rating.

Incredibly, ABC’s venerable General Hospital, winner of last year’s Emmy for Best Daytime Drama, boasted a 1.8 rating for its Wednesday (3/18) episode, the worst daily rating received by any ABC Daytime show during the week ending 3/20/09. Complicating GH’s troublesome decline, this is a “sweeps” rating period instrumental in setting future advertising rates. Even more embarrassing, on Wednesday (3/18), GH featured a promoted cameo by NASCAR star Jeff Burton, without which the 1.8 daily rating may have been even lower.

The most alarming news for GH has to be the dramatic decline since the same period last year when scabs’-written episodes were airing following the Writers’ Strike. During the same period in 2008, GH maintained an average daily rating of nearly 2.3 with an audience of almost 3 million viewers a day. This year, during the week of 3/16 - 3/20, 2009, GH averaged 1.9 in daily ratings with an average audience size of 2.6 million viewers.

Just in the Nielson Ratings for the week of 3/23 - 3/27, 2009, all soaps across the networks gained over the prior week. Even with better ratings for the week ending 3/27/09, the analysis for GH remains unchanged. During the same scabs’-written period last year (3/24 - 3/28, 2008), GH hit what was, at the time, a new low, losing more than 400,000 viewers over the same period in 2007. The Nielson’s for the week of 3/23 - 3/27, 2009, including the daily ratings, nearly mirror the comparable period in 2008, at the time a new low for GH, but today viewed with a sigh of relief over last week’s abysmal ratings. For the week ending 3/27/09, GH gained only 25,000 viewers over the same scabs’-written period last year; in contrast, both AMC and OLTL gained in excess of 315,000 viewers from the comparable scabs’-written period. Finally, GH gained 198,000 total viewers for the week ending 3/27/09, that is approximately the 101,000 viewers potentially attributable to those specifically boycotting Wednesday (3/18) the prior week, plus an additional 97,000 viewers, in line with the weekly viewer gains from AMC & OLTL, +80,000 and +104, 000 respectively.

GH needs a serious shake-up. Over the past year, GH has angered nearly every fan base. There seems to be no long-term vision, no commitment to character development, no commitment to couples, and no commitment to the show’s rich 46-year history. GH has no romantic stories, no happy couples, and scant little love in the afternoon. GH is an unrecognizable sleazy, violent mess, and any given week in danger of lagging behind the rest of the ABC Daytime line-up. Rumors abound of upcoming cast changes and high profile returns of beloved characters, but is that where changes should occur? Are General Hospital fans telling ABC Daytime loud and clear, they enjoyed the scabs’ interpretation of characters, couples, and stories as much or more than anything currently on tap.

GH Daily Ratings Week of 3/16 – 3/20, 2009Monday: 2.0/2,793,000Tuesday: 1.9/2,540,000Wednesday: 1.8/2,449,000Thursday: 2.0/2,727,000Friday: 2.0/2,719,000

Ratings Week of 3/16 – 3/20, 2009
Total Viewers
(Compared to Last Week/Compared to Last Year)1. Y&R 5,116,000 (+23,000/-406,000)2. B&B 3,299,000 (-231,000/-796,000)3. DAYS 2,986,000 (+288,000/+36,000)4. AMC 2,699,000 (+81,000/+184,000)5. OLTL 2,664,000 (-20,000/+16,000)6. GH 2,646,000 (-101,000/-342,000)7. ATWT 2,532,000 (-148,000/-666,000)8. GL 2,133,000 (-127,000/-534,000)

Ratings Week of 3/23 – 3/27, 2009
(Compared to Last Week/Compared to Last Year)Total Viewers1. Y&R 5,195,000 (+79,000/-258,000)2. B&B 3,495,000 (+196,000/-549,000)3. DAYS 3,052,000 (+66,000/+210,000)4. GH 2,844,000 (+198,000/+25,000)5. AMC 2,779,000 (+80,000/+318,000)6. OLTL 2,768,000 (+104,000/+338,000)7. ATWT 2,730,000 (+198,000/-413,000)8. GL 2,249,000 (+166,000/-328,000)

Source for ratings data: http://boards.soapoperanetwork.com/index.php?act=home

The "F" Word: The FCC vs. Miss Maxie Jones

The mild-mannered Spin’s Vixenella has had enough of General Hospital…again This time she is taking matters into her own hands and calling in the Feds, not the Feds currently sniffing around Port Charles for dangerous balls, but the Federal Communications Commission. Yes, in utter exasperation, the Vixenella has finally reported GH to the FCC. Here is a transcript of her call.

FCC: Good Morning, this is the Federal Communications Commission Complaint Department. This call may be recorded for quality control purposes. Now, how may I help you?

Vixenella: Hi, Vixenella here. Are ya’ll the bunch in charge of regulating the public air waves, like network TV…the same ones who raised all that hell about Janet Jackson's boob-shot at the Super Bowl?

FCC: Yes, we are.

Vixenella: Well, the Vixenella is a patient woman and certainly not one to complain, but I can’t take the outrageous obscenity on General Hospital any longer. I want the FCC to crack down on GH like the Goth God of Zume.

FCC: Miss Vixenella, what exactly is the nature of your complaint?

Vixenella: Well, it is Miss Maxie Jones and her persistent, wanton, reckless use of the “F” word. Should decent, God-fearing, refined, sensitive viewers of daytime television, such as the Vixenella, be exposed to Maxie’s use of the “F” word day after day? What about children? There could be kids watching, and what do they hear, the foul “F” word rolling off Maxie’s tongue without a second thought.

FCC: Miss Vixenella, are you suggesting the “F” word has been used on General Hospital, a daytime network program?

Vixenella: Yes, that is exactly what I am telling you. Maxie Jones on General Hospital has used the “F” word at least a zillion times. Nearly everytime she speaks of Mr. Damien M. Spinelli she uses the “F” word, and I’ve had enough of her assault on decency.

FCC: Miss Vixenella, have you contacted the program or network directly about your concern?

Vixenella: Do you think I would be bothering you if I hadn’t already contacted both GH and the network? I have written and called that GH Head Writer/Special Consultant Bob Guza, and the truth is…I think Guza loves the “F” word as much as Maxie Jones does.

FCC: Miss Vixenella, can you describe the nature of your contact with Mr. Guza?

Vixenella: Well, first I called Mr. Guza and told him I thought Maxie Jones needed her mouth washed out with soap. He asked if that was because Maxie kissed Johnny Z, and I said, “no, but a good lip- scrubbing with some antibacterial soap wouldn’t hurt that either.”

I explained as regrettable and vile as Maxie kissing Lulu’s angry, worthless, shiftless, boyfriend was, it was not my business to judge if she wanted to whore herself out and wallow in the muck with the likes of Johnny Z. I advised Mr. Guza my concern was strictly limited to Maxie’s continuous, daily use of the “F” word.

I implored Mr. Guza to have Maxie cease and desist her wretched use of the “F” word, particularly when speaking to or about Mr. Spinelli. I advised Guza, "everyone on nine planets had already heard Maxie call Spinelli the “F” word…"

FCC: Excuse me, Miss Vixenella, are we talking about the same obscene “F” word?

Vixenella: Sir, we must be talking about the same “F” word. Have you ever heard Maxie use another “F” word? “Friend” is the only “F” word she knows. In fact, at this point, it may be the only word of any alphabetic stripe, she knows.

The Vixenella knows doggone well Maxie’s obsessive use of the “Friend-word” to describe Spinelli is a bald-faced lie. Spinelli is not just her friend; Maxie Jones is in love with Spinelli; you know it; I know it; fans everywhere know it; Guza knows it; Hell, the crew of the International Space Station knows it, but every day ad nauseum, we are exposed to this incessant “F” word from Maxie’s lips. At this point, most GH fans would prefer exposure to the free-range toxic balls roaming Port Charles than to hear Maxie whine out that “F” word one.more.time.

And, since ABC doesn’t have the good sense to put a stop to it, can you FCC people step up and help out here?

FCC: Now, Miss Vixenella, when you contacted Mr. Guza did he give you any satisfaction that changes in Maxie’s use of the “F” word would be forthcoming?

Vixenella: No, he did not, and this crap with the “F” word has been going on for nearly a year. I’m telling you, I think Bob Guza himself is the one behind Maxie’s use of the “F” word. The last message from Mr. Guza was back during the summer when he told us to “Believe.” Guza said to “believe f*ship would turn into love,” and we’ve been “believing,” but as to the Spinelli and Maxie romantic love story, it has been slim on the “receiving.”

Suffice it to say, the Vixenella’s negotiations with Mr. Guza broke off when he declined the Vixenella’s kind invitation for a sudsy mouth scrub with a scorching hot metal-brush, if he let Maxie use the “F” word one more time.

FCC: Is there something the FCC could convey to Mr. Guza to prompt settlement in a mutually agreeable fashion?

Vixenella: Well, now that you mention it, I would be satisfied with the following: Maxie could add “boy” before the “F” word when speaking of Mr. Spinelli, i.e. “boyfriend.” That would work, or Miss Jones could refer to Mr. Spinelli as her lover, significant other, bed-buddy, or at least something remotely descriptive of their relationship, but the “F” word, friend has got to go before this Vixenella does some toxic ball-bashing of her own.

FCC: Miss Vixenella, to avoid a nasty investigation, is there any consensus or compromise you can reach with GH regarding Miss Jones’ use of the “F” word?

Vixenella: No, there is no middle-ground. Spinelli and Maxie have been doing their dance of love for too long. So, this Spixie fan is not willing to compromise by accepting only a Spixie friendship as some warped consolation prize! I don't want a Spixie friendship...I've seen that; it was lovely, and it has beautifully moved on to love, so either cough up the Spixie love story, or put an end to the “f*ship.” It is indecent and obscene how long the Vixenella has been waiting for a romantic Spixie love story.

FCC: Thank you, Miss Vixenella. You poor dear, you and the Spixie fans have suffered enough. For the love of all that is right and just, we will get right on this.

Vixenella: Thank you! Ta and Spixie Kisses to you and the whole gang over at the FCC.

*Vixenella snaps out of her Lemon Vodka Collins delirium …*

Vixenella’s Video of the Day:
As evidence to the FCC, the Vixenella would submit EXHIBIT A. As far back as March 2008, Mvidder NeverLetGo97 demonstrates Miss Maxie Jones’ persistent use of the “F” word. With thanks & Spixie Kisses to Mvid by NeverLetGo97, Song: BestFriend, Artist: Toybox.

The Jackal Requires a Cold One!

Spin's Vixenella is pleased to debut her first ever mvid, & of course it is all about Spinelli! Enjoy.

General Hospital: Pavlov's Fans

Forget Pavlov’s dog… it’s his fans I’m worried about. Say it with me slowly, one Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi… that is the precise length of time Maxie Jones and the new doctor, Matt Hunter, shared the General Hospital screen on Thursday (June 26).

Yes, those three long-awaited, over-hyped seconds on GH marked the re-teaming of former Days of Our Lives (DOOL) young lovers Shawn and Belle, Jason Cook (Matt Hunter, GH; ex-Shawn, DOOL) and Kirsten Storms (Maxie Jones, GH; Belle, DOOL).

The only problem? General Hospital has neither a Shawn nor a Belle character. Who cares about a minor detail like that when there is spontaneously combustible sexual chemistry exploding on our screens? But, alas, for three glorious seconds these two characters bumped into each other. There, I said it. Matt and Maxie (not Shawn and Belle) bumped into each other on General Hospital, not Days of Our Lives. Neither paying attention, they turned around quickly and accidentally bumped into each other in front of GH’s famous nurses’ station.

Be advised, Spin’s Vixenella can “squeeeeeeee” and “eeeeeeeeeee” and “OMG” with the best fan girls on the biggest Internet soap message boards, but yesterday’s response to those three seconds of shared screen time was simply astonishing on so many levels. In an attempt to counterbalance her inner fan girl and bring into sharp focus the three seconds, The Vixenella will spew forth some Latin: res ipsa loquitur. Yes, res ipsa loquitur, a legal term which means “the thing speaks for itself”. No further details or evidence are necessary; the response tells the whole story. So without further adieu, and with no identifying information revealed, Spin’s Vixenella gives you res ipsa loquitur, verbatim actual message board responses to three seconds of General Hospital.

“That song by Savage Garden “I Knew I Loved You Before I Met You” instantly played in my mind”

“I don't care if it was forced I just love looking at him and seeing him again its been so long since I saw him on DOOL”

“Reunited and it feeeels so gooooood! Woooohooo!”

“I didn't think that the scene looked forced at all, I LOVED it! The scene lived up to my expectations and then some, I have been waiting so long for this! I hope that the continuation of the scene will happen tomorrow.”

“Forced or Not, i friggin Loved it! My Heart Bursts with Joy! I can Bearly Breathe! Jason and Kirsten Together again EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”

“I'm so excited! I have been squeeling since I saw the scene of Maxie and Matt running into each other. Gave me a warm feeling and a nice flashback.”

“I watched today's scene 3 times already!”

“I think I've watched about a hundred times already.”

“Sparks! I saw definite sparks of chemistry! And that look... oh boy, they've definitely got me hooked!” “God, those were the best and most interesting 3 seconds of GH in a loooong time!”

“I loved M&M's interaction. The chemistry is there (yes, based on that clip alone, I judge them to be awesomely perfect for each other).”

In fairness, there was a lone voice of reason in the message board thread who commented, “I can't really say how I feel about the two yet, because well it was a very short scene, he didn't really say anything to her.” Do the rest of these GH fans fall in love while stopped at traffic lights or in grocery store check-out queues? They must be the speediest of speed daters.

Res ipsa loquitur, fellow soap fans. Can we expect intelligent, long-term storytelling and insightful character development when three seconds of stunt casting a “hot” soap hunk from a rival network sends us into paroxysms of joy? When the soap genre is extinct, we will have only ourselves to blame for not demanding more when we had the chance.

Lessons Learned: To minimize the risk of bumping into someone and having them spontaneously combust with sexual chemistry on me, The Vixenella vows to be more careful and less absent-minded in public places.

VIXENELLA'S VIDEO OF THE DAY: Enjoy Bonnie Rait's Something to Talk Aboutcompiled by Ashley from the Opposite Attraction Fan Site. Spinelli & Maxie...SPIXIE IS SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT...the new guy...meh!

Calling All Spixie Fans! Opposite Attraction Needs YOU!

 
Inspired by my Spixie friends Heather (moviesurfer) and Jenny (jyl22075) at Live Journal and Opposite Attraction. Spixie fans, click the icon below to visit Spixie's Opposite Attraction Fan Forum.
 

 VIXENELLA'S VIDEO OF THE DAY: Enjoy this GREAT video to Paula Adbul's, Opposites Attract beautifully created by Jessica (SteveBurtonShoe) to promote the Opposite Attraction Spixie Fan Site. It is a tremendous resource and great place to hang out for all Spinelli and Maxie fans.  

 

 

My Shocking Exposé of Bias in Soap Media Polling: Part One

Thanks to my Spixie friend Heather aka Movie Surfer at Live Journal for this beautiful banner.

My Shocking Exposé of Bias in Soap Media Polling: Part One

Soap opera press -- journalism or propaganda pimping machine? The Vixenella gives her spin in a two-part expose published first by Blog Critics online magazine.

I am no Woodward and Bernstein. Heck, I am not even Geraldo Rivera’s belly lint, but Spin’s Vixenella knows agenda-driven media bias when it splatters in her face. What is Spin’s Vixenella ranting about now? The soap industry “press,” a multi-billion dollar a year business with numerous publications dedicated to covering all things soap opera. Are any of them more than a propaganda arm for the networks? Today, Spin’s Vixenella is not so sure, and she wants some answers.
(For the full article, first published by Blog Critics online magazine, click on The Vixenella's Spin icon below.)

VIXENELLA'S VIDEO OF THE DAY: Enjoy a new Spixie mvid from one of The Vixenella's favorite Spixie fans, NewEnglander, an uber talented Spixie mvidder. NewEnglander never fails to capture the mood and essence that is Spixie. Spixie is a classic love story with a spicy twist. With Burning Love, NewEnglander uses the spicy Wyonna re-make of this timeless classic Elvis tune. How wonderful!

General Hospital: Believing Better Be Receiving

General Hospital: Believing Better Be Receiving

The snarky Spin's Vixenella takes on General Hospital Emmy action and the new SoapNet "Believe It Can Happen" Spixie promo.

Follow along as the correspondence war between Spin's Vixenella and General Hospital head writer Bob Guza continues to rage. Could there be a thaw in their relationship? Will there be "Peace in Our Time?" Click the link below for the next installment in Spin's Vixenella's "Letters to Bob" series, published first at Blog Critics Online magazine.

VIXENELLA'S VIDEOS OF THE DAY:

Spixie & The Interloper Present Emmy

SOAPNet's new promo Believe In Your Heart, Believe It Can Happen Spixie with 2 other couples from OLTL thrown in for good measure

Rice-a-Roni and Re-runs

By George, I think I’ve got it! Rivaled only by Jackal PI’s investigatory skills, Spin’s Vixenella has decoded and deciphered the top-secret, encrypted message bearing the key to Spinelli’s summer storyline. More than two weeks ago, Spin’s Vixenella stumbled upon a seemingly straightforward, innocuous quote from an unnamed General Hospital “insider.” See for yourself, and follow along as The Vixenella cracks the code for “insider-speak.”

QUOTE:
"Spinelli and Bradford the actor are extremely popular and TPTB truly want to give him a love interest but the question is who? TPTB are quietly looking around for someone for him by this fall, in the meantime he will be helped by different characters."

Covertly, Spin’s Vixenella went to work on the hidden message and finally deciphered it cryptic meaning. The answer is Rice-a-Roni and Re-runs!

The Vixenella invites you along for a walk through her deductive process. First, “TPTB” is well-known code for “The Powers that Be,” aka “TIIC,” “The Idiots in Charge.” TPTB are the people “upstairs,” the “higher ups” at GH…the writers, the producers, the directors, and executives, i.e. Frons, Phelps, Guza, et. al.

Slowly re-read the entire quote; now focus your attention on "Spinelli and Bradford the actor are extremely popular and TPTB truly want to give him a love interest but the question is who?"

Hmmm..."want to give him a love interest, but who...?”

Who indeed! Mysterious and perplexing, don’t you agree? The illusive question for the ages, ponder...who could be a love interest for Spinelli? The female character Spin has been paired with onscreen for the last 5-6 months leaps to my mind, but The Vixenella is just logical that way. It can’t be Maxie; that is just too simple. Maxie and Spinelli…that would never work. Too many people enjoy them together and see their super-couple potential. Spinelli’s love interest must be someone else, but who? TPTB will never figure out who, if, each time Spinelli is put in a wildly successful pairing, it is unceremoniously jerked out from under him by the new soap hunk flavor of the month.

Turn you attention to the next key phrase in the cipher: "TPTB truly want to give him a love interest..."

The mystery here lies in the odd irony of the words themselves. A love interest for Spinelli is wholly and completely within TPTB's control, so please forgive The Vixenella, as she seriously questions TPTB’s sincerity or doubts how "truly" TPTB want to give Spin a love interest. If they TRULY wanted to give him a love interest, GIVE HIM ONE! Pray God, what stops them, if a love interest for Spinelli is what TPTB truly want? That is the “Power” part of TPTB…you guys already have everything you need to give Spinelli a love interest…power, paper, pencil, stone tablet….if you write it, it will come.

Moving on in the deductive process, TPTB seem to have mounted their own covert op. According to the quote, "TPTB are quietly looking around for someone for him (Spinelli) by this fall, in the meantime he will be helped by different characters.” May I say, if TPTB are "quietly looking around for someone" for Spin...it is very quiet! Or is this a cover story concocted by TPTB to stall until they see how it goes with Maxie’s summer love, Dr. Matt Hunter? Sneaky, sneaky…stall Spinelli’s storyline as a way to hedge TPTB bets, just in case Maxie’s new romance bombs. Exactly..keep Spinelli available and flailing aimlessly in the event TPTB need to quickly insert Spinelli to prop up their sordid summer mess.

Back to the coded message, we have already being treated to the “different characters” helping Spin. Thus far, we have seen Spinelli “helped” by Patrick, Coleman, Jason, Sam, Diane, Leyla, and Jax. Next at bat will be the original Vixenella herself, Claudia Z. Have I left anyone out? Stay tuned Spin fans for another summer of rollicking comic relief as Pinball Spinelli is batted about the canvas propping character after character, with limited storyline progression or character development of his own. Only time will tell how long a character like Pinball Spinelli can remain viable and likeable with no story of his own, thrown from wacky hijinks to wacky hijinks, used only for comic relief.

If any of this sounds like a re-run, it is. Strangely, Spinelli fans have travelled this very route before. Did anyone save TPTB quotes from last summer right before or after Lulu was paired with Logan? Here we are again at the precipice, and this time Spinelli will watch Maxie star in this summer’s version of “love-to-hate-to-love” new guy, Matt Hunter.

Why does The Vixenella even bother to learn the names in the Hot Summer New Guy Hit Parade? Some don’t even make it to February Sweeps. Now another year, another viable love interest snatched out from under Spin, and yet another pack of empty promises to his fans. This is not even a thinly disguised RE-RUN! Did we really love it so much last summer; we must feast upon it again, and so soon?

Remember the “old school” TV game shows? When you lost on the old game shows, you were always sent home, with a "lovely parting gift" often Rice-a-Roni, the San Francisco Treat? If you don’t remember Rice-a-Roni as the perennially favorite consolation prize, watch some game show re-runs on the Game Show Network. Just a suggestion, since GH is about to go into summer recycles and re-runs itself. At least the Game Show Network has re-runs from many years ago, instead of just last summer.

Read the quote carefully one last time:

"Spinelli and Bradford the actor are extremely popular and TPTB truly want to give him a love interest but the question is who? TPTB are quietly looking around for someone for him by this fall, in the meantime he will be helped by different characters."

Aha! Puzzle solved. Spinelli’s storyline this summer is a re-run from last summer. Once again, Spin and his fans are sent home with a heaping helping of Rice-a-Roni, the lovely parting gift for losers!

Oh, and now Spin’s Vixenella has an encrypted message for TPTB at GH. Let’s see how long it takes them to decode this.

"The fans of Spinelli and Bradford Anderson really can’t properly express our thanks. Expect to see our special brand of appreciation passionately expressed in an outpouring of letters, emails, phone calls, lower ratings, horse-heads, etc.…like I said…we simply cannot thank you…ENOUGH!

P.S. We, Spinelli fans, are just not that into Rice-a-Roni, but we would happily share our lovely parting gift with YOU! "

VIXENELLA'S VIDEO OF THE DAY: It just doesn't get much more poignant and painful than this people. Almost one year ago today, this beautiful vid was first posted on YouTube by the talented Spencerfanfirst aka Spikey. I always loved this mvid even during the heady days of Spixie, but NOW this vid haunts me almost to tears. If anyone still doubts we are on the cusp of a summer re-run and wasted talent, please take a look at this, and be sure to listen through to the end...there is another interesting twist as the credits roll. Enjoy Rainbow Connection a magnificent mvid showcasing Luke/Laura and Spinelli/Lulu.

Imaginary Memo from Bob Guza to Spinelli & Maxie (Spixie) Fans

Spoilers may be mentioned in this SNARKY, satirical post.

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*This is Spin's Vixenella's rendering of a Memo from Guza & Gang* (i.e. NOT A REAL MEMO FROM GUZA...please do not re-post as insider scoop on scurrilous other soap-related websites.)


To: Hard-Headed Spixie Fans

From: Bob G., The Frons, & the GANGstas

June 12, 2008
____________________________________________

Dear Spixie Fans:

Please pay attention. I have been trying to tell you something since the end of the writers' strike...for the past 5 -6 weeks. I have written Spixie in every way possible to underscore Spinelli & Maxie are just BFF! Writers' Strike Spixie was JUST YOUR IMAGINATION...now please cooperate & stop making me work so hard to erase REAL SPIXIE from your minds.

For the record, the last REAL SPIXIE you saw was the day after the "you are not a toy kiss." From the day I had Spin leave Maxie at the Canadian Bus Stop, I have been working overtime to make sure I banish REAL SPIXIE from your minds. How many times have I had Maxie call him "just her friend?" How many times must Spin sound like a blithering idiot...dumb-struck in Maxie's presence? How embarrassingly blind & stupid must I make Maxie before you understand...Spixie is not in MY deck of cards?

Still you clamor for Spixie! Sheesh people, I have already pushed back the second coming of Shelle & the arrival of Jason Cook for a month to try to let cool you Spixie fans down. Still you are calling, writing, emailing. ENOUGH!...

Now I have thrown caution to the wind, & I am going for broke...Just to give him some airtime, I am putting Spin with every single character male or female in PC that I otherwise don't want to give a real storyline...Sam, Leyla, Jax, Diane, etc. For heaven's sake, I even let Spin get dressed up, manned up, & act normal to go to a wedding with the lovely Leyla. I'm just saying, work with me people, Spixie is not in the cards, BUT I am open to other less popular, less charismatic characters with which we could pair Spin. Still you are calling, writing, emailing..blah, blah, Spixie, blah, love Spixie, blah wanna see Spixie..blah, blah, Spixie, blah.

OK, last straw! You relentless Spixies, who didn't jump ship when Maxie straddle-kissed Johnny as Spin watched, have forced my hand. Now I have to go big, or go home...PROSTITUTION...Maxie agrees to have sex with Johnny in exchange for money. Yep, how are you Spixie fans going to like a dose of that for your sweet Spinelli, not loving Spixie so much now are ya?

Spixies, I'll give you this, you have been a hard bunch to TRAIN, but I've been training you nonetheless. Surely a few of you have fallen off the Spixie wagon by now. I really have been patient. I have slowly and systematically changed the dynamic of the Spixie relationship for the past 6 weeks. The cumulative effect of this should be obvious to even the most stubborn among you. I even gave you Spixies some wacky hijinks like Spin waking up in Maxie's bed to ease your pain and pump up your alternative reality music vids.

All the while, I was slowly, systematically TRAINING you to understand Spixie are just friends…nothing more…never have been. It was nothing more than a bunch of run amok scab writers who saw a spark between two of the best young actors on our show and tried to run with it.

I am at my wit's end as to what to do for you relentless Spixie fans. Now please content yourself with the REAL Spixie scenes from January 29 until May 5, conveniently located on YouTube, and shut-up, and enjoy the Days of Our Lives Shelle Hell RE-RUN headed your way in 2 short weeks. Just read my recent interviews in the soap magazines. I've assured you Dr. Matt Hunter will not compromise Maxie and Spinelli's relationship, (which in case you STILL don't understand is JUST FRIENDS.) Of course, Maxie's new love will in no way impede her relationship with her best "gal pal," Spinelli. I also promised you a "summer of love among the ruins," & by God that is what you are going to get, "RUINS!"

Love & Kisses,

Bob G, the Frons, & the GANGstas.


P.S. You will still get your Spixie BFF in precisely the same dosage we feature our other opposite sex BFFs. (I'm not talking Jason/Carly BFF screen time 'cause they are my favs)…but I can say unequivocally, you will get your Spixie BFFs with at least as much regularity as we bring you Sonny & Robin or Alexis & Jax, and of course every other Christmas, Spinelli and Maxie may brush past each other on the docks.
Keep tuning in for more & PLEASE CEASE & DESIST on the calling, emailing, & letter-writing. And, you Miss Spin's Vixenella…I got my eye on you….I know you have been drunk dialing the local "Horse-Head Home Delivery Service" asking about their volume discount.

*AGAIN, this was Spin's Vixenella MOCKING Guza & Gang* (i.e. NOT A REAL MEMO FROM GUZA...please do not re-post as insider scoop on scurrilous other soap-related websites.)
_____________________________________________

If You Want REAL Spixie Back:

CALL:

GH Comment Line
323-671-4583

ABC Comment Line (press 2, then 4, then 464 to get to GH)
818-460-7477

ABC Daytime Feedback (ask for the viewer comment line)
212-456-7777

ABC Switchboard
310-557-7777

Write: One single letter counts for approximately 2,000 viewer opinions. Your ONE letter can make a difference. Together...we can get can get the REAL SPIXIE back on GH.

*If you would like to write and are interested in sample letters, please feel free to contact Spin's Vixenella directly.*

Jill F. Phelps
General Hospital
c/o ABC - TV
4151 Prospect Avenue
Hollywood, CA 90027

Robert Guza, Jr.
General Hospital
c/o ABC - TV
4151 Prospect Avenue
Hollywood, CA 90027

Brian Frons
President - ABC Daytime Programming
2300 Riverside Drive
Burbank, CA 91506

Anne Sweeney
President, ABC
ABC - TV
500 South Buena Vista
Burbank, CA 91521


VIXENELLA'S VIDEO OF THE DAY: Enjoy The Start Of Something New, originally prepared for the Disney challenge at "Opposite Attraction" Fan Forum, clips credit to the amazing people at that site! This wonderful musical montage of REAL SPIXIE clips was compiled by my Spixie friend, the magnificent B00kw0rm92.

Loving Spixie is Like Loving the Knuckleball...

Spixie's very own Fairy Godmother weighs in! If you never read another Spin's Vixenella Blog, read this one. Today we have a very special guest blogger...known only as Naranja. As some of you may know, I am Spin's Vixenella on the Soap Opera Central GH message board. Day in day out, I am slugging it out in the message board trenches supporting Spinelli & Bradford Anderson, the fabulous actor who brings life to my favorite geek hero.

I'll be honest, we have suffered some setbacks on the road to Spixie romance, and in view of the spoilers, there are more dark days ahead for Spixie. But, just when I think I am on my last Spixie leg with literally no energy left, and no more love to give my favorite GH couple, Naranja magically appears on the SOC GH message board with her deep, beautfiul understanding of Spinelli & Spixie. If I am the Jackal's Cyber-Ninja Defender, Naranja is Spixie's Fairy Godmother, and she has graciously granted my wish for permission to post her recent musings on today's blog. So, sit back, relax, and ENJOY!

Loving Spixie is Like Loving the Knuckleball...

Bear with me. I'm about to show my rabid sports fan roots.

Like Bradford, I'm a wicked Red Sox fan. Partly because of my husband, but also partly because of the hundreds of literary tomes written about the sport and especially the Old Town team. A writer at heart, I love a good story, and baseball inspires so many good stories.

Now, my favorite Red Sox pitcher is not the flashy Pedro Martinez (now with the Mets) or the dominant Josh Beckett or the ruthless Jonathan Papelbon. My favorite pitcher is Tim Wakefield -- the knuckleballer.

The knuckleball is not the prettiest pitch or the most reliable pitch. It's definitely not as fierce or as sexy as the fastball.

As one sportswriter wrote, "The knuckleball is a pitch thrown at a slow speed, without rotation, which darts, dips, dances, jingles and flutters in unpredictable directions, driving major league hitters mad. ... Everything about the knuckleball is unusual and unpredictable. When it works, the erratic flutter of the ball makes it virtually unhittable. But when it doesn't, it's a 65 mph duck, waiting to be smacked out of the ballpark."

But that's exactly what I like about the knuckleball, and what I like about Spixie. They are not predictable, and they are definitely not your typical formula soap couple, at least not the shiny, sexy formula that is so popular these days. Spixie, like the knuckleball, too has their dips and darts, and they have their cringe-worthy moments, and their heart-fluttering moments. (It's all very true to great real-life love stories, actually.)

To throw the knuckleball, you don't have to be the biggest, baddest (or sexiest) pitcher around. You do have to be true to the pitch and pitch it through good times and bad. You also take a little bit of a leap of faith...

While many people love the fastball pitcher because they seem so dominant and throw "the sure thing", I like the knuckleball pitcher because of this little leap of faith -- this idea that you can't always control or don't know what the outcome of your pitch will be.

That's like Spixie too. Their beauty comes from their imperfections, their refusal to fit into a shiny and slick form and rhythm.

To me, Spixie is the best and sexiest couple on the show because they're not just about sex. They're about friendship, romance, and courtly love. They're exaggerated comic relief, and yet they're also among the most human and most real characters on the show. Like the knuckleball, they get the out -- the win! -- because they defy stock roles, standards, and expectations.

Thank you again Naranja for these fabulous hopeful words, just when Spixie fans needed them most, and a special thank you for granting permission to share.

In honor or Spixie's Fairy Godmother, the Vixenella has chosen a Spixie video with a magical theme by one of my favorite Spixie vid-makers, NewEnglander.

Spin's Got Game...The Spin on Maxie

WOW! Spin rocked my socks with his Carpe Diem...seizing the initiative & whatever else he could get his hands on! YOU GO BOY!

I LOVED every second of SPIN ON MAXIE! I am sure the scene was supposed to appear Spinelli-awkward, but instead, IT WAS CUTE & HOT! Perhaps a little more Bradford Anderson came out to play in this Spinelli scene, and if I'm not mistaken...I think I saw a little grin on Kirsten Storms' face when Spin spun her around to seize the kiss.

Not that I have played the scene a few times/backward/slo mo/freeze frame or anything, but me thinks the Maximista kissed back!

Of course, I know tomorrow, it will all break bad, and Spixie will be down the drain hole AGAIN, but for one brief shining moment....SPIXIE WAS HOT & this Vixenella was once again in love with Spixie, best friends falling in love.

Geek Meets Chic...First Spixie Promo Debut

*Que the drumroll* Spinelli & his Maximista (Spixie) now have their own 20 second promo running on SoapNet. Geek Meets Chic can be pure SUMMER GOLD for GH!

There are a number of extraordinarily positive aspects about the pairing of Spinelli and Maxie, but the one I would like to most highlight is the unique opportunity General Hospital has to tell a powerful, meaningful long-term story that will resonate with many. While I enjoy many of the GH characters, there is something very special about Spinelli. He is probably emotionally more like the average teenager or young adult than anyone on the GH canvas.

This summer with Spinelli, GH has an important opportunity to demonstrate that brains and sincere goodness are every bit as sexy and attractive as the "hunky bad guy with a chip on his shoulders." Spixie's brilliance is not only might the geeky, nice guy get the girl, he just might get one of the most beautiful young women in Port Charles.

At a time when young people suffer with low self-esteem issues and are literally dying to improve their looks. GH has an important opportunity to make a long-term commitment to a positive, honest, mutually respectful relationship Please General Hospital, do not underestimate the importance and the social impact of a simple story like this.

Spinelli, Don't Go Changing, To Try To Please Me...

Spinelli, Don't Go Changing, To Try To Please Me...

"You never let me down before. I could not love you any better; I love you just the way you are." When Mr. Damien M. Spinelli "swaggered" up to the bar at Jake's today clad in black leather jacket with turned up collar, I knew we were in for a treat. Grasshopper Spin was all up at the bar trying to act cool and "channeling" his master, chick magnet Jason. Then Spin orders an orange soda which Coleman just so happens to have chilled, and Spin throws a pocket full of change up on the bar, telling Coleman to keep the change, literally.

When Spin found out his wondrous Maximista was in NYC on Crimson business, staying with a famous designer, Spin feared Maxie may be attracted to this urbane chic fashion powerhouse. So, Spinelli goes to work on his inner "Rico Suave," (a sexy, hot guy with a cool tude toward everyone and everything, a real man's man with irresistible magnetism.) According to the Urban Dictionary, Rico Suave is the term for "a ladies man who enjoys fast cars, hot woman, and pool hustling. Rico Suave is what every man wants to be, but 99.7% of men never live up to."

In a few short minutes, Spin had poked a biker in the butt with a pool stick he was twirling like a majorette's baton, spewed a liquor drink all over the bar, and solicited advice from both Coleman and Patrick on how to impress a woman. It was wonderful fun, brilliantly played by Bradford Anderson, but through the laughter, you could feel the pain of Spinelli's social insecurity.

How can someone so smart, be so lost when it comes to interpersonal interaction? That is a part of Spinelli's story GH must eventually tell. In "real-life" there are millions of people with similar social and emotional insecurities. Let's face it, many people, particularly teens or young adults, are much more like Spinelli in terms of their social interaction than they are willing to admit.

While many in Spinelli's shoes might crawl further into their isolated shell, Spin is out there trying, seeking advice, putting it on the line for what he wants. Always acutely aware of his social isolation and limitations, Spinelli, to this point, has functioned capably, even contently, within his limitations. Enter Maxie Jones.

Spin's growing feelings for Maxie bring into sharp focus his difficulty with interpersonal relationships, and he fears this deficiency will once again prevent him from establishing a romantic relationship with a woman he has grown to care for deeply. Even with Spin's humorous brand of imperfection, he poignantly demonstrates if there is something you want to change about yourself, get out there; put one foot in front of the other, and go for it.

Maxie already understands Spin has trouble believing someone could love him. So, the real opportunity for GH is to showcase for Spin and the audience, you don't have to change who you are to be loved, you are worthy of love just the way you are. Maxie loves Spin exactly the way he is, and I am glued to my TV screen to watch both Maxie and Spinelli discover that most beautiful of truths.

Featured Blog References:
"Just The Way You Are" – performed by Billy Joel in Tokyo 1998 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9A2wf9wMlU

"Rico Suave" is a 1991 single by Ecuadorian rapper and singer Gerardo. It appeared on his album Mo' Ritmo. The track peaked at 7 on Billboard's Hot 100 chart on April 13, 1991, and reached 2 on the Hot Rap Singles chart a week earlier. In the song, the narrator tells of his luck with women and his lady-loving lifestyle. The song ranks 100 on VH1's 100 Greatest Songs of the 90s and 9 on VH1's 100 Greatest One Hit Wonders. It also ranked at 37 on Blender's list of the "50 Worst Songs Ever". (From Wikipedia)

http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=Nx64_N4AA04&feature=related

Lyrics to Billy Joel's "Just The Way You Are"* (a song dedication from Maxie to Spinelli )

*Spin's Vixenella highly recommends this for a Mvid done from Maxie's Point of View. If anyone does one, please let me know!

Don't go changing, to try and please me

You never let me down before

Don't imagine you're too familiar

And I don't see you anymore

I wouldn't leave you in times of trouble

We never could have come this far

I took the good times, I'll take the bad times

I'll take you just the way you are

Don't go trying some new fashion

Don't change the color of your hair

You always have my unspoken passion

Although I might not seem to care

I don't want clever conversation

I never want to work that hard

I just want someone that I can talk to

I want you just the way you are.

I need to know that you will always be

The same old someone that I knew

What will it take till you believe in me

The way that I believe in you.

I said I love you and that's forever

And this I promise from the heart

I could not love you any better

I love you just the way you are.

Chasing Spinelli

Many General Hospital fans are enjoying the growing relationship between Maxie Jones and Damien Spinelli. On the surface, this seems to be the story of a geeky guy falling for a beautiful girl that is well beyond his romantic reach. In truth, Maxie has been the pursuer all along.

Let's review: Initially, Spinelli and Maxie bonded over their shared grief over Georgie's death. Maxie went to Spinelli to help her find the Text Message Killer (TMK), even though computer skills were not initially required. WHY? She could have confided her concerns to any number of people, including Robin, Lucky, Cruz, Sam, or even Nik.

After the TMK was caught, Maxie still kept coming back for more Spinelli, and when he cold busted her on it, she got up and left in a huff...only to CALL HIM later that same day. In fact, even when Spinelli is busy with someone else or doing something else, it is Maxie approaching him, sitting down at his table, tagging along, etc. And, on Valentine's night, she sat at a table alone in Kelly's waiting on Spin to come back from helping Jason.

Recently, Maxie literally hunted Spinelli down at the hospital, and the first words out of her mouth were, something about all the many messages she had been leaving him, and why hadn't he returned her calls. She wasn't just passing through the hospital and ran into Spin, she was actively hunting him down because he had not been returning her calls. All these years Maxie has managed her life and affairs without technical computer assistance 24/7, and now she can't seem to get enough of it.

How many times has Spinelli called Maxie? Twice that we can confirm. The first time Spin took the initiative to call Maxie was when he got rolled and stripped naked. And, she quickly came to his rescue, and told him how "cool" he looked in his new suit, and she couldn't keep her hands off his hair. The second time we know Spinelli called Maxie was shortly after Michael was shot, and Spin was trying to establish a timeline involving Kate.

Maxie has been vulnerable with Spinelli, opening up and telling him things about herself we have never heard Maxie say to anyone...friend or lover. Physically, Maxie was the one who started moving in closer and closer until Spinelli has gradually become more comfortable with having his "personal bubble" invaded. You can see the progression of this physical proximity in scene after scene, including when she got on her knees in the chapel with him. Now Maxie is exchanging sips of Spinelli's orange soda and quite regularly initiating hugs and little kisses with little or no provocation or warning.

Consciously or not, Maxie uses hypotheticals to find out how Spinelli really feels. Anybody who has had a few rides on the "young love" merry-go-round knows darn well those questions Maxie was asking Spin in the sewer about what Spin would do if he were with someone and Lulu wanted him...those were questions Maxie wanted the answer to for herself.

As "take charge" as Maxie is, neither Maxie nor any woman for that matter, likes to be shut down or rejected by a guy. Maxie has been unsure of what Spinelli feels for her. For example, in a scene at Kelly's, Maxie told Spinelli she thought he "hated her guts." Plus, Maxie must be aware that she has been the one making the majority of the overtures both before and after the TMK was captured. Maxie may also be concerned that Spin still has feelings for Lulu. She has raised that issue to Spin on several occasions and has demonstrated possessiveness of Spinelli in front of Lulu, including planting a huge kiss on Spinelli right in front of Lulu. As upfront about her feelings as Maxie is, I can't imagine Maxie would put it all out there for Spin if she had a moment's concern that he still had feelings for Lulu.

Finally, Maxie may not yet realize the depths of her own feelings. This has all happened in a way that Maxie may not even realize what she feels for Spinelli. However, on at least a base level, it has become clear to Maxie, she not only needs, but wants Spinelli around her...alot. Maxie knows that Spin doesn't think someone could love him, and she also knows that when he gives his heart it will be totally. So perhaps Maxie is still figuring all this out for herself and understands Spin's vulnerabilities, so Maxie may be taking it slower with Spinelli than she would under other circumstances.

But make no mistake, wake up and sniff the love in bloom, Maxie is CHASING SPINELLI...