Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Rice-a-Roni and Re-runs

By George, I think I’ve got it! Rivaled only by Jackal PI’s investigatory skills, Spin’s Vixenella has decoded and deciphered the top-secret, encrypted message bearing the key to Spinelli’s summer storyline. More than two weeks ago, Spin’s Vixenella stumbled upon a seemingly straightforward, innocuous quote from an unnamed General Hospital “insider.” See for yourself, and follow along as The Vixenella cracks the code for “insider-speak.”

"Spinelli and Bradford the actor are extremely popular and TPTB truly want to give him a love interest but the question is who? TPTB are quietly looking around for someone for him by this fall, in the meantime he will be helped by different characters."

Covertly, Spin’s Vixenella went to work on the hidden message and finally deciphered it cryptic meaning. The answer is Rice-a-Roni and Re-runs!

The Vixenella invites you along for a walk through her deductive process. First, “TPTB” is well-known code for “The Powers that Be,” aka “TIIC,” “The Idiots in Charge.” TPTB are the people “upstairs,” the “higher ups” at GH…the writers, the producers, the directors, and executives, i.e. Frons, Phelps, Guza, et. al.

Slowly re-read the entire quote; now focus your attention on "Spinelli and Bradford the actor are extremely popular and TPTB truly want to give him a love interest but the question is who?"

Hmmm..."want to give him a love interest, but who...?”

Who indeed! Mysterious and perplexing, don’t you agree? The illusive question for the ages, ponder...who could be a love interest for Spinelli? The female character Spin has been paired with onscreen for the last 5-6 months leaps to my mind, but The Vixenella is just logical that way. It can’t be Maxie; that is just too simple. Maxie and Spinelli…that would never work. Too many people enjoy them together and see their super-couple potential. Spinelli’s love interest must be someone else, but who? TPTB will never figure out who, if, each time Spinelli is put in a wildly successful pairing, it is unceremoniously jerked out from under him by the new soap hunk flavor of the month.

Turn you attention to the next key phrase in the cipher: "TPTB truly want to give him a love interest..."

The mystery here lies in the odd irony of the words themselves. A love interest for Spinelli is wholly and completely within TPTB's control, so please forgive The Vixenella, as she seriously questions TPTB’s sincerity or doubts how "truly" TPTB want to give Spin a love interest. If they TRULY wanted to give him a love interest, GIVE HIM ONE! Pray God, what stops them, if a love interest for Spinelli is what TPTB truly want? That is the “Power” part of TPTB…you guys already have everything you need to give Spinelli a love interest…power, paper, pencil, stone tablet….if you write it, it will come.

Moving on in the deductive process, TPTB seem to have mounted their own covert op. According to the quote, "TPTB are quietly looking around for someone for him (Spinelli) by this fall, in the meantime he will be helped by different characters.” May I say, if TPTB are "quietly looking around for someone" for Spin...it is very quiet! Or is this a cover story concocted by TPTB to stall until they see how it goes with Maxie’s summer love, Dr. Matt Hunter? Sneaky, sneaky…stall Spinelli’s storyline as a way to hedge TPTB bets, just in case Maxie’s new romance bombs. Exactly..keep Spinelli available and flailing aimlessly in the event TPTB need to quickly insert Spinelli to prop up their sordid summer mess.

Back to the coded message, we have already being treated to the “different characters” helping Spin. Thus far, we have seen Spinelli “helped” by Patrick, Coleman, Jason, Sam, Diane, Leyla, and Jax. Next at bat will be the original Vixenella herself, Claudia Z. Have I left anyone out? Stay tuned Spin fans for another summer of rollicking comic relief as Pinball Spinelli is batted about the canvas propping character after character, with limited storyline progression or character development of his own. Only time will tell how long a character like Pinball Spinelli can remain viable and likeable with no story of his own, thrown from wacky hijinks to wacky hijinks, used only for comic relief.

If any of this sounds like a re-run, it is. Strangely, Spinelli fans have travelled this very route before. Did anyone save TPTB quotes from last summer right before or after Lulu was paired with Logan? Here we are again at the precipice, and this time Spinelli will watch Maxie star in this summer’s version of “love-to-hate-to-love” new guy, Matt Hunter.

Why does The Vixenella even bother to learn the names in the Hot Summer New Guy Hit Parade? Some don’t even make it to February Sweeps. Now another year, another viable love interest snatched out from under Spin, and yet another pack of empty promises to his fans. This is not even a thinly disguised RE-RUN! Did we really love it so much last summer; we must feast upon it again, and so soon?

Remember the “old school” TV game shows? When you lost on the old game shows, you were always sent home, with a "lovely parting gift" often Rice-a-Roni, the San Francisco Treat? If you don’t remember Rice-a-Roni as the perennially favorite consolation prize, watch some game show re-runs on the Game Show Network. Just a suggestion, since GH is about to go into summer recycles and re-runs itself. At least the Game Show Network has re-runs from many years ago, instead of just last summer.

Read the quote carefully one last time:

"Spinelli and Bradford the actor are extremely popular and TPTB truly want to give him a love interest but the question is who? TPTB are quietly looking around for someone for him by this fall, in the meantime he will be helped by different characters."

Aha! Puzzle solved. Spinelli’s storyline this summer is a re-run from last summer. Once again, Spin and his fans are sent home with a heaping helping of Rice-a-Roni, the lovely parting gift for losers!

Oh, and now Spin’s Vixenella has an encrypted message for TPTB at GH. Let’s see how long it takes them to decode this.

"The fans of Spinelli and Bradford Anderson really can’t properly express our thanks. Expect to see our special brand of appreciation passionately expressed in an outpouring of letters, emails, phone calls, lower ratings, horse-heads, etc.…like I said…we simply cannot thank you…ENOUGH!

P.S. We, Spinelli fans, are just not that into Rice-a-Roni, but we would happily share our lovely parting gift with YOU! "

VIXENELLA'S VIDEO OF THE DAY: It just doesn't get much more poignant and painful than this people. Almost one year ago today, this beautiful vid was first posted on YouTube by the talented Spencerfanfirst aka Spikey. I always loved this mvid even during the heady days of Spixie, but NOW this vid haunts me almost to tears. If anyone still doubts we are on the cusp of a summer re-run and wasted talent, please take a look at this, and be sure to listen through to the end...there is another interesting twist as the credits roll. Enjoy Rainbow Connection a magnificent mvid showcasing Luke/Laura and Spinelli/Lulu.


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