Friday, June 13, 2008

Imaginary Memo from Bob Guza to Spinelli & Maxie (Spixie) Fans

Spoilers may be mentioned in this SNARKY, satirical post.

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*This is Spin's Vixenella's rendering of a Memo from Guza & Gang* (i.e. NOT A REAL MEMO FROM GUZA...please do not re-post as insider scoop on scurrilous other soap-related websites.)


To: Hard-Headed Spixie Fans

From: Bob G., The Frons, & the GANGstas

June 12, 2008
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Dear Spixie Fans:

Please pay attention. I have been trying to tell you something since the end of the writers' strike...for the past 5 -6 weeks. I have written Spixie in every way possible to underscore Spinelli & Maxie are just BFF! Writers' Strike Spixie was JUST YOUR IMAGINATION...now please cooperate & stop making me work so hard to erase REAL SPIXIE from your minds.

For the record, the last REAL SPIXIE you saw was the day after the "you are not a toy kiss." From the day I had Spin leave Maxie at the Canadian Bus Stop, I have been working overtime to make sure I banish REAL SPIXIE from your minds. How many times have I had Maxie call him "just her friend?" How many times must Spin sound like a blithering idiot...dumb-struck in Maxie's presence? How embarrassingly blind & stupid must I make Maxie before you understand...Spixie is not in MY deck of cards?

Still you clamor for Spixie! Sheesh people, I have already pushed back the second coming of Shelle & the arrival of Jason Cook for a month to try to let cool you Spixie fans down. Still you are calling, writing, emailing. ENOUGH!...

Now I have thrown caution to the wind, & I am going for broke...Just to give him some airtime, I am putting Spin with every single character male or female in PC that I otherwise don't want to give a real storyline...Sam, Leyla, Jax, Diane, etc. For heaven's sake, I even let Spin get dressed up, manned up, & act normal to go to a wedding with the lovely Leyla. I'm just saying, work with me people, Spixie is not in the cards, BUT I am open to other less popular, less charismatic characters with which we could pair Spin. Still you are calling, writing, emailing..blah, blah, Spixie, blah, love Spixie, blah wanna see Spixie..blah, blah, Spixie, blah.

OK, last straw! You relentless Spixies, who didn't jump ship when Maxie straddle-kissed Johnny as Spin watched, have forced my hand. Now I have to go big, or go home...PROSTITUTION...Maxie agrees to have sex with Johnny in exchange for money. Yep, how are you Spixie fans going to like a dose of that for your sweet Spinelli, not loving Spixie so much now are ya?

Spixies, I'll give you this, you have been a hard bunch to TRAIN, but I've been training you nonetheless. Surely a few of you have fallen off the Spixie wagon by now. I really have been patient. I have slowly and systematically changed the dynamic of the Spixie relationship for the past 6 weeks. The cumulative effect of this should be obvious to even the most stubborn among you. I even gave you Spixies some wacky hijinks like Spin waking up in Maxie's bed to ease your pain and pump up your alternative reality music vids.

All the while, I was slowly, systematically TRAINING you to understand Spixie are just friends…nothing more…never have been. It was nothing more than a bunch of run amok scab writers who saw a spark between two of the best young actors on our show and tried to run with it.

I am at my wit's end as to what to do for you relentless Spixie fans. Now please content yourself with the REAL Spixie scenes from January 29 until May 5, conveniently located on YouTube, and shut-up, and enjoy the Days of Our Lives Shelle Hell RE-RUN headed your way in 2 short weeks. Just read my recent interviews in the soap magazines. I've assured you Dr. Matt Hunter will not compromise Maxie and Spinelli's relationship, (which in case you STILL don't understand is JUST FRIENDS.) Of course, Maxie's new love will in no way impede her relationship with her best "gal pal," Spinelli. I also promised you a "summer of love among the ruins," & by God that is what you are going to get, "RUINS!"

Love & Kisses,

Bob G, the Frons, & the GANGstas.


P.S. You will still get your Spixie BFF in precisely the same dosage we feature our other opposite sex BFFs. (I'm not talking Jason/Carly BFF screen time 'cause they are my favs)…but I can say unequivocally, you will get your Spixie BFFs with at least as much regularity as we bring you Sonny & Robin or Alexis & Jax, and of course every other Christmas, Spinelli and Maxie may brush past each other on the docks.
Keep tuning in for more & PLEASE CEASE & DESIST on the calling, emailing, & letter-writing. And, you Miss Spin's Vixenella…I got my eye on you….I know you have been drunk dialing the local "Horse-Head Home Delivery Service" asking about their volume discount.

*AGAIN, this was Spin's Vixenella MOCKING Guza & Gang* (i.e. NOT A REAL MEMO FROM GUZA...please do not re-post as insider scoop on scurrilous other soap-related websites.)
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If You Want REAL Spixie Back:

CALL:

GH Comment Line
323-671-4583

ABC Comment Line (press 2, then 4, then 464 to get to GH)
818-460-7477

ABC Daytime Feedback (ask for the viewer comment line)
212-456-7777

ABC Switchboard
310-557-7777

Write: One single letter counts for approximately 2,000 viewer opinions. Your ONE letter can make a difference. Together...we can get can get the REAL SPIXIE back on GH.

*If you would like to write and are interested in sample letters, please feel free to contact Spin's Vixenella directly.*

Jill F. Phelps
General Hospital
c/o ABC - TV
4151 Prospect Avenue
Hollywood, CA 90027

Robert Guza, Jr.
General Hospital
c/o ABC - TV
4151 Prospect Avenue
Hollywood, CA 90027

Brian Frons
President - ABC Daytime Programming
2300 Riverside Drive
Burbank, CA 91506

Anne Sweeney
President, ABC
ABC - TV
500 South Buena Vista
Burbank, CA 91521


VIXENELLA'S VIDEO OF THE DAY: Enjoy The Start Of Something New, originally prepared for the Disney challenge at "Opposite Attraction" Fan Forum, clips credit to the amazing people at that site! This wonderful musical montage of REAL SPIXIE clips was compiled by my Spixie friend, the magnificent B00kw0rm92.

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